Best Man
by Bottlebrush
Summary: Sirius Black loses a love he never had, and gains one that was always there waiting for him. SBRL, unrequited SBJP.


Best Man

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world or its characters. J. K. Rowling does.

Summary: Sirius Black loses a love he never had, and gains one that was always there waiting for him. SBRL, unrequited SBJP.

I already wrote how I think Sirius and Remus got together, in "Seeing the Light". This is a different version, in which they are "just friends" until James's wedding day.

Rating: M

Sirius Black was giving the performance of his life. All day he had been acting the part of a happy man; smiling, laughing, moving lightly on his feet, he had stood by James during the marriage ceremony, had made an amusing speech giving a carefully-censored but still highly entertaining account of James's schooldays, and had moved about among the guests making sure everyone had food and drink and someone to talk to. He had danced with bridesmaids, kissed Lily on the cheek and shaken innumerable hands. Nothing in his face or demeanour even remotely indicated that his heart was breaking. Only one person knew.

When the happy pair had gone off on their honeymoon and the guests had departed, the last stragglers shouting their goodbyes at each other outside the door, Remus sought Sirius and found him sitting amid the festive debris, a nearly-empty bottle of firewhisky to hand.

"That went well," Remus said. "You organised everything perfectly. But it's time to go home now, and let the elves get on with clearing up."

Sirius looked up, his eyes bright with tears that would not, could not be shed because Sirius Black didn't cry, ever. "That's it, then," he said. "It's over. I've lost him."

"No, you haven't," Remus answered.

"In case you hadn't _noticed_, he's _married_," Sirius said bitterly. "He's married that – that _woman._" He spat out the word as though it were the vilest insult he could think of. "Until the very last minute, I couldn't believe it would happen. It was like – oh – like reading a book where things are going wrong but you know it's all going to come right at the end. Only it didn't. He's really gone, and I _have_ lost him, lost him for ever."

"No, he's still your friend, your brother. That's all he ever was, and that'll never change."

"Precisely, my dear Moony. It never will, now. Have you any idea how much I wanted it to change?"

"I can guess."

"Can you? I wonder. Can you know what I feel now, now there's no hope left, now he's chosen that _bitch_ over me?"

"You don't mean it, calling Lily that. You know she loves him. And don't blame James either. He can't help being straight."

"Right as always, Mr Logic. He can't help it, and I can't help it, and there's no help for any of it. Except….." He reached for the firewhisky.

Remus's long slim fingers closed on the neck of the bottle. "That's not the answer," he said.

"Isn't it, Moony? Then perhaps you can tell me what is? Do you know the answer?"

"Maybe. Maybe it's time to stop longing for what you'll never have, and find someone who can give you what you need, who can love your body as well as your mind and spirit."

"And where is there such a person?"

"Here."

Sirius stared at him, a stricken look on his face. "Oh, Moony. How long?"

Remus smiled. "Since third year."

"I never knew."

"You weren't meant to."

"I'm so _sorry,_ I wish I had……"

"Don't be. I was happy, loving you and being your friend. Just as you were, loving James, weren't you?"

"Yes, but……"

"And I dread to think what I would feel if you got married tomorrow. I don't think I could carry it off as you did today. You were very brave, you know that?"

"It was for James."

"I know. You were the best Best Man anyone could wish for. But it's time to go home now. Come on, I'll take you."

Remus leaned over, gripping Sirius firmly, and apparated with him to the flat they had shared for two years, and to Remus's bed, which they had never shared.

-oo000oo-

Early sunlight streamed into the room, and Remus woke. He hadn't slept much; it had been that sort of night. There hadn't been any actual penetration, but sticky, messy, blissful encounters involving hands, mouths, and cocks. Remus had come three times, and had lost count of the times he had made Sirius come. The noise of Sirius's pleasure had been the sweetest sound Remus had ever heard. And it had been Remus's name, not James's, that Sirius had screamed out. Now Remus looked anxiously at the face close to his on the pillow. The grey eyes were open, regarding him steadily, soberly.

"You all right, Pads?" he murmured.

To his relief, Sirius's answering smile was gentle and warm, like the hands that cupped Remus's face, and the voice that said "Thanks to you, yes."

Remus reached up and flexed his fingers in Sirius's hair. "You see, sometimes you have to settle for what you can get," he said, smiling.

Sirius shook his head. "No, it wasn't like that," he said. "I do love you. It's just – well – _James_……"

"I know. It's all right. It will be….. you've got me, now."

"Yes. It will be."

They clung together, feeling the hardening of their eager young bodies, ready to go again after the night's exertions. They smiled into each other's faces, lit by morning sunshine, and an eternity of love opened out for them.


End file.
